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"If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it." – Elmore Leonard
Often, when Mr Capsy has been good and I permit him to go out of an evening, I start talking in a loud, clear voice. This is not because, despite what he thinks, I can't function without him, nor is it because I can't handle being alone. No, with him out of the way I can perform a vital part of the writing process and read my words aloud. To me it is crucial. I make more changes and pick up more errors after giving voice to my words then at any other time.
This is probably old news to a lot of you, but if you don't do this then I urge you to give a try, as it can make a real difference to the quality of your writing.
Reading aloud helps to make writing come across as more natural, less forced, especially when it comes to dialogue. My favourite example of what can happen when you don't comes from the diaries of Edwina Currie (once a minor Brit politician best known for having an affair with John Major before he was Prime Minister). On publication they were critically panned as being boring, very badly written and untrue. This excerpt –apparently recounting an argument with a colleague – easily demonstrates why:
"I have other things to do now, Alan, and you don't need to be insulting me: I'm not going to insult you. But we cannot win the election on the basis of safe seats in the south alone. We have to win my seat,and many others like it in the Midlands and the north. I will not be faced down."
If you read it in your head then it probably sounds okay, so read it out loud. Go on, I'll wait. Done that? Great. Didn't it sound dreadful? No one speaks like that, especially the way the penultimate sentence is phrased. Out loud it is exposed for what it is: horribly artificial. That wasn't said, and when she wrote those words Edwina Currie clearly failed to read them back to herself aloud.
By comparison let's have a quick look at the words of a master – Charles Dickens. Dickens wrote with the specific intention of his words being heard which is why they remain so vivid and pleasurable today. One hundred and sixty-seven years after they fell from his pen, here's the opening lines of 'A Christmas Carol':
"Marley was dead: to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourner. Scrooge signed it: and Scrooge's name was good upon 'Change, for anything he chose to put his hand to. Old Marley was as dead as a door-nail.
Again, I would like you to go back and read them aloud. Isn't that wonderful? The rhythm, the pace, the satisfying feel of the hard c's in the words 'clergyman' 'clerk' and 'undertaker'. As Rizzo the Rat says at the start of ' The Muppet Christmas Carol':
"That's a good beginning. It's creepy and kind of spooky."
I find that reading out loud also helps me with what I have called 'The Three Hand Problem'. See, when I'm trying to describe a character's physical presence I often write something that is too posed, or unnatural, or would require at least three hands. Here's an example from something I posted recently:
"Paul's face was slack with sleep, his eyes tightly squeezed together."
It was only when I read it out loud, and as I was doing so copied the movement a little, that I realised that your face isn't slack if your eyes are squeezed tightly together. For that sentence to make sense it would have to be one or the other, but not both.
So to everyone who is currently writing and wouldn't normally do so, I ask that you read your stuff out loud before you post and see what happens. You might decide that this approach is not for you, but it is definitely worth trying.
A word of caution though, if you are a smut writer then you probably want to be very sure that no one is within earshot before you start.
Often, when Mr Capsy has been good and I permit him to go out of an evening, I start talking in a loud, clear voice. This is not because, despite what he thinks, I can't function without him, nor is it because I can't handle being alone. No, with him out of the way I can perform a vital part of the writing process and read my words aloud. To me it is crucial. I make more changes and pick up more errors after giving voice to my words then at any other time.
This is probably old news to a lot of you, but if you don't do this then I urge you to give a try, as it can make a real difference to the quality of your writing.
Reading aloud helps to make writing come across as more natural, less forced, especially when it comes to dialogue. My favourite example of what can happen when you don't comes from the diaries of Edwina Currie (once a minor Brit politician best known for having an affair with John Major before he was Prime Minister). On publication they were critically panned as being boring, very badly written and untrue. This excerpt –apparently recounting an argument with a colleague – easily demonstrates why:
"I have other things to do now, Alan, and you don't need to be insulting me: I'm not going to insult you. But we cannot win the election on the basis of safe seats in the south alone. We have to win my seat,and many others like it in the Midlands and the north. I will not be faced down."
If you read it in your head then it probably sounds okay, so read it out loud. Go on, I'll wait. Done that? Great. Didn't it sound dreadful? No one speaks like that, especially the way the penultimate sentence is phrased. Out loud it is exposed for what it is: horribly artificial. That wasn't said, and when she wrote those words Edwina Currie clearly failed to read them back to herself aloud.
By comparison let's have a quick look at the words of a master – Charles Dickens. Dickens wrote with the specific intention of his words being heard which is why they remain so vivid and pleasurable today. One hundred and sixty-seven years after they fell from his pen, here's the opening lines of 'A Christmas Carol':
"Marley was dead: to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourner. Scrooge signed it: and Scrooge's name was good upon 'Change, for anything he chose to put his hand to. Old Marley was as dead as a door-nail.
Again, I would like you to go back and read them aloud. Isn't that wonderful? The rhythm, the pace, the satisfying feel of the hard c's in the words 'clergyman' 'clerk' and 'undertaker'. As Rizzo the Rat says at the start of ' The Muppet Christmas Carol':
"That's a good beginning. It's creepy and kind of spooky."
I find that reading out loud also helps me with what I have called 'The Three Hand Problem'. See, when I'm trying to describe a character's physical presence I often write something that is too posed, or unnatural, or would require at least three hands. Here's an example from something I posted recently:
"Paul's face was slack with sleep, his eyes tightly squeezed together."
It was only when I read it out loud, and as I was doing so copied the movement a little, that I realised that your face isn't slack if your eyes are squeezed tightly together. For that sentence to make sense it would have to be one or the other, but not both.
So to everyone who is currently writing and wouldn't normally do so, I ask that you read your stuff out loud before you post and see what happens. You might decide that this approach is not for you, but it is definitely worth trying.
A word of caution though, if you are a smut writer then you probably want to be very sure that no one is within earshot before you start.
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Mama Flame
08 March 2010 - 07:44 PM
One of my best tricks is to read my stories out loud. Unfortunately I don't do it as often as I used to, then again I'm writing as prolifically as I used to.
As you said, it's amazing what you'll catch. I wonder what on earth I was thinking during writing some of my stories. I find myself adding some things, taking out others, and wondering what I was actually trying to say and/or portray with others.
Nice entry.
As you said, it's amazing what you'll catch. I wonder what on earth I was thinking during writing some of my stories. I find myself adding some things, taking out others, and wondering what I was actually trying to say and/or portray with others.
Nice entry.
jem4water
09 March 2010 - 10:16 AM
One of the best pieces of advice that could ever be given to a writer. I'm often guilty of trying to make my stories sound more...I don't know, professional?...by using language that normally wouldn't be used, or by taking contractions out and things like that. When I read out loud, it gives the words depth, gives them a proper voice. Loved this entry, Capsy. Very helpful advice.
And as a smut writer, I'll, er, keep that in mind.
And as a smut writer, I'll, er, keep that in mind.
UltraChrome
09 March 2010 - 06:24 PM
I really enjoyed this blog. One thing I do when writing, is I hear the words, like a voice in my head, instead of seeing them as words on a page, and especially with dialogue... I hear it, before I write it, if that makes sense. I often sit back and wait for a reply to come, or a statement to begin a conversation. So, I do not read aloud, which I should do, esp when home alone (not sure my daughter wants to hear anything I write about ) but I certainly hear words, as opposed to just writing them down, and that is why I do a final 'tweak' which I am known for... I make sure it sounds like it is being read aloud, and I just hope that the people here who read my stuff think it's half decent in that respect.
and yes, with the smut. I'll also keep the door closed in case someone is wandering up and down the driveway of my block of units
) but I certainly hear words, as opposed to just writing them down, and that is why I do a final 'tweak' which I am known for... I make sure it sounds like it is being read aloud, and I just hope that the people here who read my stuff think it's half decent in that respect.and yes, with the smut. I'll also keep the door closed in case someone is wandering up and down the driveway of my block of units
Mama Flame
10 March 2010 - 09:35 AMUltraChrome, on 09 March 2010 - 07:24 PM, said:
......... One thing I do when writing, is I hear the words, like a voice in my head, instead of seeing them as words on a page, and especially with dialogue... I hear it, before I write it, if that makes sense........
Glad I'm not the only one to hear voices when they write. Most of the time the voice of character will be the one I hear. Same as when I read someone else's story. What's worse is hearing the voices when you're reading out loud...or is that just me?
tawg
13 March 2010 - 11:01 AM
Another tip in the same vein is to read over a scene and block out what your characters are doing. This is something that 90% of the writers in the Smallville fandom need to do - characters are always making loaded statements and then walking away from other characters. I've read a scene in which each character walks away from the other at least thrice. It's ridiculous. Keep track of where your characters are facing, where they're standing, and whether or not they've already left the room.
Mama Flame
13 March 2010 - 04:37 PMtawg, on 13 March 2010 - 12:01 PM, said:
snipped
I've been known to be guilty of this but, thankfully, I pick up the error 99% of the time
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