[axlgreese]

Title: Drugs, A Quest, and a Small, Rodent-Like Creature
Author: axlgreese
Rating: M for swearing, drug use and my possibly insane ramblings
Disclaimer: This may well have happened, but if it did, I don't know about it. I made it up. With my strange, strange brain. And hippie's plotbunnies.
Summary: DAAS wake up in Amsterdam, where fun things happen without being questioned. I take no responsibility for any lack of sense.


Part Two:
Which contains a Strange Landmark, No Hope, and More Alcohol Than Is Healthy

It was also dark when they reappeared, but this time they could see a little bit. Just a little bit. Well, not much.

Rich stood up and slowly slid out of view. There was a thump.

'Where are we?'
Rich called up to them from below. 'Rundle Mall!'
Tim plonked his hand onto Paul's shoulder when it looked like he was going to stand up. 'How can you tell?'
'You're on top of the Mall's Balls!' (Seriously, that's what they're really called. I don't know why there's a giant silver scrotum in the middle of the city, but I guess that's Adelaide for you.)

Paul processed this news calmly and carefully. 'How the fuck are we gonna get down?!'
Tim leaned over the side. 'Rich, are you still alive?'

There was a pause. Then another. '…Yep.'
'Right then. Come on, Pixie.'

He slid over the side and landed with a slightly lighter thump. Paul whimpered, then felt a tug on his leg and slid helplessly slid down the side of the… thing. Seriously, what is it? Anyway…

'Hey, where'd the brain go?' Tim asked as he and Rich dusted themselves off and Paul huddled near the Balls, whimpering quietly.
'I dunno. I guess it just disappeared.'
'So how are we going to find that rat-thing?'
'I 'spose we'll have to do it ourselves.'

This snapped Paul out of it. 'We have to find a rat? It's a rat. They're everywhere.'

Rich shook his head. 'Not in Adelaide. There're actually more bats than rats here.'
'Spank you, Helpy Helperton. There are still lots. How are we gonna tell this one from any other?'

Tim was distracted by following a curvaceous young woman with his eyes. 'Maybe the brain'll tell us, or something.'
'Yeah, that's helpful. The talking brain that appears out of nowhere will turn up and tell us where to find the magical rat. This must be a really bad acid trip.'

Rich went very still. 'You will receive instructions in the morning.'
'Okay, so that was creepy.'
Rich shook himself. 'The brain said that, not me. Right?'
'Yeah.'

Tim was now mentally undressing another woman. 'What's happening?'
'Rich went really blank and personality-less.'
'What, like he always is?'

He looked up to see the other two looking at him disapprovingly.
'Well, it's true. So, we gonna go get wasted?'

They tripped lightly down Rundle Street, walking into the first bar they found and ordering drinks. As they settled into a booth, Paul still slightly shaky from his encounter with the Balls (wink wink, nudge nudge), they tried to make a decision about what to do next.

None of them spoke for a moment as they chugged their beers.
'Where should we look first?' Rich asked as they caught their breath.
Paul and Tim spoke at once: 'Hindley Street.'
(Of course they do. It's the seediest street in the bloody city. Hmph. Typical.)
'It's late. Shouldn't we get rooms at a hotel?'
'Stop being practical, Rich,' Paul spat. Then he whined, 'I wanna hooker.'

Tim hit him and he shrieked girlishly. Paul curled up on himself and whimpered.
'Shut up. Rich is right, for once.'

Paul moaned, 'Oh, you hate me, you hate me…'
Rich smiled tentatively and placed a hand on Paul's shoulder. 'I don't hate you, Paul.'

Paul glared at the offending limb. 'Rich, don't touch me.'
Rich sniffled.

'Where's a good place to stay?'
'What about the Hilton?'
'Don't be an idiot. We haven't got any money, just what we had on us. Which is why you, Richie-boy, are paying for the drinks.'
'I thought the brain was picking up the tab?'

'Oh yeah, we'll just walk in and tell them that the magical talking brain is paying. That'll work.'

Somehow, it did. Weird.

[hippie]

... when i say roflmao.. i mean roflmao.

please write more.

[fairybaby]

this is really funny

[lscje]

I think you have found your niche for sure with these great, funny fics

[Mama Flame]

*chants* More! More! More!